Pregnancy Update

I have been been failing miserably as a blogger lately... Pregnancy hormones and fatigue have gotten the best of me. As you know, we had to put the adoption on hold because of an unexpected pregnancy. I am now 19 weeks pregnant and starting to feel like a normal human being again. I am still in shock and and awe that God blessed us with this pregnancy the day before we were supposed to be sent to matching through the county for our adoption. God's is always on time, never late, and never ever early.

Hubby and I spent the last year of our lives preparing our hearts and home for an adopted child. Finding out I was pregnant gave me such great joy and peace and yet, apart of me has been grieving for this adoption that I had spent countless hours preparing for. Now please don't read this wrong, I am overjoyed to be pregnant, I wanted so badly to be able to carry and nurse another baby again. But deep down, I had to grieve the loss of an adoption. Yet, our journey with adoption is not done, just on hold until we figure out what is next for our family. 

Just like the process to adopt had me in constant prayer and study for direction and strength, this pregnancy has kept me in this place of complete trust and faith in God. My pregnancy with Landon was easy, I hardly had any morning sickness no major aches or pains, and at 38 weeks I went into labor. This time around things are a little different. At 7 weeks pregnant I started experiencing sever cramping and light bleeding, after 4 hours in urgent care we got to see the baby's heartbeat and were reassured that everything was okay. Just for safe measure the doctor had me taking things easy until the cramping went away. At 8 weeks I saw my OB who took me off all forms of exercise and lifting. By my 10 week informational appointment the cramping and bleeding had started again. I saw an on-call doctor who causally informed me that everything was fine but I could miscarry at any time and they might need to put me on bed rest (really lady?). All of this had me in a tailspin. I was stressed and worried and felt that my last chance at having a baby might be taken from me at any moment. 

Once again, my loving and faithful husband pointed me back to the goodness of God. Meditating on the character of God and the knowledge of His perfect (not easy) plan. At my 12 weeks appointment my midwife (whom I love) also seemed concerned at the state of my pregnancy and suggested I continue to take it easy. However, by my 16 week appointment my midwife felt comfortable allowing me to go on short, easy walks and also permitted prenatal yoga stretches. I am now 19 weeks pregnant and feeling considerably good. We continue to pray for a healthy baby and for a full term pregnancy. As always, I would love and appreciate your prayers. Despite all the emotional ups and downs we have experience over the last few years, I can honestly say I am thankful for the trials and grateful I was given an opportunity for my faith to be grown!

We find out next week the gender of the baby, just in time for Thanksgiving! 

We have exciting news!!!

As many of you know we have been trying to expand our family for the past 3 years. After 2 years of trying for another baby we sought a diagnosis and fertility treatment. We did not have much success with the treatments and decided to expand our family through adoption. We have been in the process to adopt through the foster system for about a year now. We recently finished the home study interviews and have been anxiously anticipating being sent to matching. We expected to have a baby in our arms as soon as September.

Well, I am shocked and excited to announce that on August 5th we found out I am pregnant. 

Yes PREGNANT!!! What?!?!?!

The back story... Our decision to adopt was one we believe was God inspired. There are many beautiful ways to expand ones family but we believe God had directed us towards adoption, specifically adoption through the foster care system. It took me months to be comfortable with this idea and only recently have I felt ready for our baby and the potential heartache one can experience when adopting through the foster system. Only recently have I felt confident in God's plan for us, only recently have I truly believed we could handle all things through Christ who IS our strength. By the beginning of August the paperwork was complete, the home study was weeks away from being approved and we could have our baby as soon as September! On August 5th I looked at my calendar and realized I was late for my period... what? I am NEVER late. After much internal debate I decided to take a pregnancy test. It was positive. This can't be right... I turned over the packaging and read the expiration date: July 2015. It expired a month ago... Well of course it did, I hadn't purchased pregnancy tests in over a year! I found another one, this one wasn't expired. So I did what you are not supposed to do, I drank a bunch of water so I could take another test. Another positive. After a series of emotions consisting of; shock, fear, joy with tears, frustration, joy again, unbelief, and finally joy with a lot of tears, I dropped down on my knees and thanked God for this gift I never thought I would experience again.

The very next morning I received a call from our adoption worker, she was excited to inform us that our home study had moved along quicker than expected, was approved and moved to matching!! With tears of joy and confusion I had to inform her that just last night I found our I am pregnant, that we had stopped "trying" for a baby well over 6 months ago and yet somehow I am pregnant. She sweetly congratulated me and informed me that she would pull us from matching and put our file on hold until after the baby is born. (The county's policy is that you wait until the baby is at least 6 months old before they can place another child in your home.)

According to most doctors, if we wanted another biological child IVF should be our plan of action. And yet, God chose to bless us with another biological child the night before we were supposed to be sent to matching. What an awesome and wonderful God we serve, there is no denying that God blessed us with this pregnancy, that this was God's doing. That only God could have made this pregnancy happen. The timing is too perfect and too precise to be a coincidence.
All glory and honor be to God!!! 

We do not know why God chose to bless us at this time and in this way, I don't know why we went through years of heartache and hardship but I know God is good, His timing is perfect, and His plan is awesome, no matter what the outcome. The last year has been a growing and stretching time for our family, not only have we grown stronger in our relationships with each other, our faith, joy and trust in God has been strengthened. We still have a heart for adoption, that has not changed. We do not know what the next few years will look like for our family, our plan is to take things one step at a time keeping our eyes on God and trusting in His perfect plan.  

We got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time this week. 

Here is a little video.
Thank you all for your prayers and support over the last few years!!
God heard our prayers and answered them in an unexpected way!

For the Love of Food

Last week hubby and I ventured to San Francisco to visit my sister and her fiancé. My sisters fiancé is currently attending the Culinary Institute of America in Napa, and this guy loves food! The perfect guide to have when in search of excellent food and drink. Our first night in the city they took us to a one star Michelin restaurant call Flour and Water. Ummmm... amazing! If you are ever in the city, you need to go here! The food was amazing, the homemade pasta was tender and delicious, the wood-fired pizzas melt in your mouth and the ambiance was comfortable and casual, and all for a
reasonable price.

After dinner we ventured to the Tenderloin to visit a speakeasy called Burbon and Branch. Burbon and Branch is an actual speakeasy from the Prohibition era in the 1920's, it was open illegally from 1921 to 1933. In keeping with the original atmosphere, you must make reservations ahead of time and provide a password (given to you when you make your reservation) in order to get in. You are then ushered to your table, given a menu of hand-crafted cocktails and asked to follow a series of house rules. The whole experience is fun, authentic and worthwhile if you are ever in the city!

As you can imagine the next few days were filled with good food and even better company, we traveled to Napa for wine tastings, walked the city, ate clam chowder, walked through Grace Cathedral, and even visited a roof-top restaurant on our last night in the city.

The Human Experiment

Last night I watched a documentary on Netflix call "The Human Experiment." It was both eye opening and chilling as it described how untested chemicals have infiltrated our homes, food and bodies. Shocking statistics about the rise in autism, cancer and infertility were revealed and discussed. Seeing that we have been trying to get pregnant again since L was born (about 3 years), the issue of infertility strikes a cord with me. I was astonished to hear that since 1988 there has been a 49% increase in infertility in women under 25!!!! "The Human Experiment" suggests that the chemicals we are surrounded by daily may be having a profound impact on these growing statistics.

As a mommy, I want to give my child the best chance to succeed at life. As parents, we consider the neighborhood we live in, the school our children attend, activities to involve our children in and even the food we consume. But do we consider the chair we sit in, the cup we drink out of, the makeup we wear and the cleaning products we use. All of these things contain untested and potentially unsafe chemicals. If you are feeling outraged, you are not alone!

In our household we have started making changes in the foods we purchase and some of the products we use. We have started replacing some medicines with essential oils, using homemade cleaners and hand soap, and changed our pesticide methods (I still can't just deal with spiders and ants). However, is it enough??? Over the next few weeks, I will be exploring and considering the products we purchase and how they might be affecting our health.

The Human Experiment has a webpage that has a section dedicated to finding safer products for your home and family. The products listed on their website have been tested and found to be better options.

Here is the link: http://thehumanexperimentmovie.com/switch-to-safer/

If you have made the switch to safer products I would love to hear about what you are using and why!

Homestudy Part II

Last week we wrapped up the last part of the home study with my one-on-one interview with our adoption worker. Another huge stepping stone in the process! Our adoption worker is very kind, and seems to understand my personality well, she is happy to answer any questions or concerns we may have, and I have never felt rushed or brushed aside.

Questions she asked consisted of a variety of things, ranging from childhood experiences and relationship to our fertility. Below is a more extensive list of questions asked:

Childhood
She asked me a series of questions concerning my childhood, including but not limited to; relationship with my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins. And yes, I did have to provide names of each of my cousins, a fairly extensive list ;-) Methods of discipline used by my parents, any instances of abuse, schooling, extra curricular activities, and the level of support I received.

Adult
She asked about my relationship with my husband, my siblings, my parents, friends, neighbors, about our church, religion, our involvement in community, the medications I am currently taking, and any past surgeries.

Fertility
Of course, she asked about our fertility journey, how I felt when I was given the diagnosis of secondary infertility, if we had support from family and friends, what my emotions were when we were diagnosed vs. today, and lastly, if I am still pursuing fertility treatment (just a note, Riverside County asks that you are not seeking fertility treatment if you are in the process to adopt).

Fears
She asked me what my biggest fears were regarding adopting, and how I dealt with those fears. (Ummm... God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and encouragement from my husband to turn towards God!)

Family Support 
Lastly she asked me about what my family thinks about our decision to adopt, if they were supportive, and what their concerns may be.

The interview lasted about 2 hours, after which she informed me she should have the final home study written and on her supervisors desk by mid August. At which point her supervisor will review and approved (about a 2 week process) and then submit to matching. Matching is who will, true to the name, match us with our baby!

Matching
This is a brief summary of how matching works (to my knowledge). Matching will get to know our family based on the home study our adoption worker submits. Once a child comes into the system on the adoption track, matching will then filter through the adoptive families looking for a "match" (based on the things the family is or is not willing to accept), matching will then compile a list of usually five families that are a best "match" for the child. Usually those that are on the top of the list are those families that have been waiting the longest. Our adoption worker believes we will be waiting for a match for between 2-8 months, this is her best guess based on her experience. However, there is still a possibility we could get a call the day after our home study has been approved. We just have no idea! Ahhhhhh!

Prayer Requests
Please join us as we pray for the baby that God has for our family, the bio-mommy/family of that baby, and the social worker our baby will be assigned to.

The county social workers are assigned both kids tracked for temporary foster care and kids tracked for adoption, they often will only have 1-2 adoption cases a year, therefore, they are sometimes unfamiliar with the adoption process. I have also been told some of the social workers can be difficult to work with, they often have large case loads and do not take time to be kind. Kindness often comforts my heart, please join us as we pray for a social worker that is kind, patient, and ultimately, is going to do what it takes to keep our baby in our home (however, I will excuse the lack of kindness and patience for the latter ;-)

Adoption Timeline

Orientation Class - September 26, 2014

Submitted Application to County & CCL - November 1, 2014

County Preliminary Interview - January 21, 2015

Parenting/Training Classes - March 12th, 2015

CCL Pre-Licensing Inspection - March 18, 2015
Exit Interview - June 3, 2015 

Home Study Interview Part I - July 7, 2015 

Home Study Interview Part II - July 23, 2015

$20 DIY Outdoor Rug

After much searching, online and in-stores, for an affordable outdoor rug, I decided to attempt to make my own. I did a little research and found it is fairly simple to paint a rug! I discovered a reasonably priced 6x8 ft indoor/outdoor rug at Home Depot online and picked it up in-store for free. The rug is thin and lightweight but works well for an outdoor space. There are many beautiful DIY painted rugs online, but I was going for something I could complete in an hour or two, not two to three days. So I decided on a simple stripe pattern. 

I used painters tape to mark out my lines. 

After one coat of paint. 

I used Annie Sloan chalk paint (a mix of Old White and Graphite) 

but I am sure any paint would work well! 

After two coats of paint. 

And here is the finished product! 

Cost Breakdown: 

$17.87 + tax for the rug

I used paint that we had on hand

For less than $20 and about 1.5 hrs of time I have a new outdoor rug!! 

Pair it with my DIY couches and you can build yourself a comfortable outdoor living space on a budget!

Home Study Part I

This year in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) we discussed the life of Moses in which we read through and studied Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. Initially I thought learning about the life of Moses would be interesting but not necessarily spiritually challenging. Boy was I wrong!!

Moses was a well educated, adopted prince of Egypt. He was great in the eyes of man but a tool in the eyes of God. God called Moses to free God's people from slavery, to lead them through the impossible and to the promised land. God called Moses out specifically and yet Moses still did not want to go... Moses saw God face-to-face, he knew the character of God more fully than any man in the history of mankind and yet, Moses started his journey being unwilling, fearful, and skeptical of God's plan. There is hope for me yet!

We believe God has called us to the path of adoption, we may not have heard the audible voice of God like Moses did, but we heard Him nonetheless. Like Moses, I was reluctant and unwilling to go. I have stumbled and failed in many ways, yet I believe God wants to use us and bless us through this journey. He does not promise it will be easy, Moses' journey was far from easy, but He does promise to by our side every step of the way. The life of Moses was such a blessing to me this year, I have seen my faith grow by watching Moses submit to God's authority and sovereignty and be rewarded by watching God work for His glory.

The Home Study
Yesterday we started our home study. Our adoption worker came to our home and discussed all the the details of what we will accept and will not accept in a child.

Over the course of the past year we have been required to fill out a preference sheet on three occasions. The first time we completed the preference sheet as apart of the initial application. We were given the preference sheet at the beginning of the Trauma Based Parenting Classes we took through the county, and again at the end of the classes. We were asked to answer one of three ways; Will Accept, Will Consider, and Will Not Accept to a variety of different scenarios including age range, gender,  ethnicity, drug exposure, drug addicted, mental and physical handicaps, hearing impaired, vision impaired, history of psychological disorders with bio-mom or bio-dad, and the list goes on and on.

I found myself reverting back to my old, controlling ways. Trying to specify what exactly we want in a child... Thankfully my loving and faithful husband kindly reminded me God is in control and will bring us the baby meant for our family (I am so thankful for his faith and encouragement in this process!) Our adoption worker asked us questions for about 2 hours, then did a one-on-one with Travis for another 2 hours. My one-on-one is in a couple weeks.

After she completes the interviews she will write up our home study and submit it to her supervisor for approval. Once approved, we will be sent to matching! Yay!

I feel like I have grown so much over the past year, I know I will never have the faith Moses possessed but his life has given me something to strive for and brought me encouragement, no matter how many times I fail to properly acknowledge the sovereignty of God, He will never give up on me.

DIY Outdoor Couches

Thanks to the advent of Pinterest, sprucing up your house has become simple, inexpensive and rewarding! The other day I was perusing Pinterest and came across this little beauty!

I loved the idea and thought it would be easy enough to do myself! I decided to make a sudo armrest by stacking the cinderblocks differently than what was shown in the original image above. This minor change also saves money because you need less supplies. 

Supplies: 

8 - cinder blocks 16x8x8 (there are different sizes, I learned the hard way) 

3 - 4x4's 

Wood Stain 

The natural look of the wood is nice, but I wanted a darker stain and I happened to have a walnut wood stain on hand! I stained only one side of each of the 4x4's for a couple reasons. One, so to not use up so much of the stain, and two because I didn't want to need to use a sealer to protect the cushions that I would be placing on top. 

To make sure it looked cohesive, I stained the ends of each of the 4x4's. It looks sloppy now, but I promise, it will be feel complete once it is all put together!

Because I did not want to purchase paint, I used the wood stain to stain the cinder block as well. Wood stain is much cheaper than cement stain and works just as well for our purposes!

I gave the stain a couple days to completely dry before adding the cushions and pillows. 

The cushions I found on sale at Target for $20 ea. 

To save money, I ordered these $5 pillow inserts (free shipping) and found inexpensive pillow-covers (also on Amazon). Or if you are crafty, you can sew them yourself. Most of the pillow-covers shown here were $2-5 ea. 

For a little of $100 you can build yourself a large outdoor couch, with very little effort!

Exit Interview Complete

We had our Exit Interview today, all our paperwork is complete, now we wait for a call from our adoption worker! According to our meeting today, we will be assigned an adoption worker within the next few days, but they have up to a month to contact us. Please keep praying for the right adoption worker for our family. My hope and prayer is that the lady that conducted our meeting today will be assigned our family. She is a woman of God and seems to understand our family dynamic. Thank you for your continued prayers and support, they mean the world to us!!

The Essential Oil Plunge

I made the plunge and purchased the Young Living Premium Starter Kit. 

I have been holding off getting into essential oils for a long time. Sure, I have dabbled in them here or there, but the starter kit is a commitment! I have to say, that a little over two weeks into trying to utilize the kit and I am still confused as to how to use the oils. I want to use them for anything and everything, but I just don't know what oils to use and how to use them! Why does the kit not come with a detailed guide!!

I have combined Frankincense and Purification with a carrier oil and applied it to my pimples (why an almost 29 year old still has acne I do not know!) at night before bed. After only a few days I have noticed a difference!! I have tried diffusing Thieves when both Landon and I were sick with a cold, and have also diffused the allergy trio (Lavender, Peppermint, and Lemon) but I have not yet noticed a substantial difference.

I can't shake the feeling that I am just not using the oils correctly. For all you oil lovers out there, I would love to hear how you use your oils and what made you fall in love with them!!!

Trauma Parenting Classes Completed!!!

We are well on our way to welcoming our sweet baby into our home! We have now officially completed the 24 hours of trauma based parenting classes required by the county. Next on the list is the Exit Interview, then we will be assigned our adoption worker! Right now, I am assuming the earliest we could have our placement is August, but it all depends on when the right baby comes into the system.

Ways you can be praying for us: 

Pray that we get assigned an adoption worker best suited for our family and our circumstance. 

Pray for continued hope and excitement and against fear. 

Pray for the bio mommy of our baby, that she cares for both herself and the baby, and pray for her emotionally, I am sure she is experiencing all kinds of emotions around Mother's Day. 

I read this amazing post about "The Other Mother," it is both beautiful and eye opening. It gives us a glimpse at what it might be like for the bio mommy of these precious little babes. Often times, it is so easy to judge and look down on these women for not protecting these innocents, it is good to be reminded that, although broken, these women are hurting and often times alone. There is evil in this world and they have become subject to it. It is a welcome reminder that we are all in need of the redemptive grace of Jesus Christ, and if we are to walk in His light, we are to show grace in return rather than being the first to cast the stone. 

Adoption Timeline

Orientation Class - September 26, 2014

Submitted Application to County & CCL - November 1, 2014

County Preliminary Interview - January 21, 2015

Parenting/Training Classes - March 12th, 2015

CCL Pre-Licensing Inspection - March 18, 2015
Exit Interview - June 3, 2015 

DIY Uncrustables

One of Landon's favorite foods is Smuckers Uncrustables! If it were up to him, he would eat them for every meal. Unfortunately, they are also packed full of sugar and a bunch of other things I can not pronounce. We try healthy as a family, that does not mean we never eat out or have a candy bar, but we do try and limit sugar and processed foods as much as possible. Yet, the convenience of a frozen PB&J that will perfectly thaw in time for lunch, requires no prep and minimal cleanup, and can be eaten in the car with ease, is very tempting! Especially when we are running late, which is almost always. My solution, try and make them myself! 

Ingredients: 

Honey (I like raw organic honey from Trader Joe's)

Peanut Butter, Almond Butter, Cashew Butter, Etc. 

(Trader Joe's has a creamy unsalted peanut butter with one ingredient, peanuts)

Butter 

Bread 

Directions: 

Apply peanut butter to one slice of bread,
apply butter to the other slice of bread,
apply honey on top of butter.
(Simple enough so far!) 

Take a wide brimmed jar (I used a glass leftover glass container)

place on top of sandwich and press down firmly. Cut off crust. 

To get the most of the sandwich, I did this step twice, once on each side. 

So it turned out looking like this. Not perfectly round like Uncrustables are,

but we utilize more of the bread. 

All that is left to do is place in a ziplock baggie and freeze! 

I sealed all the sandwiches in their own sandwich bag 

and then placed them all into a large freezer bag to preserve freshness. 

They keep for about a month stored this way. 

Tried, tested and Landon approved!

Next time you are on the go just remove from freezer, let defrost and munch away! 

Butterfly Day

Last weekend Landon and I joined friends at the Louis Robidoux Nature Center
Annual Butterfly Day! We did butterfly crafts, pet pigs, held caterpillars and visited the main attraction, the butterflies!

Landon is now obsessed with caterpillars and finding a nice green leaf for them to eat 

(thank you to "The Very Hungry Caterpillar"). 

Licensing and Trauma Classes

Since my last post we have completed three of the eight required trauma parenting classes as well as our CCL (Community Care Licensing) pre-licensing inspection. The inspection went surprisingly well. Although the analyst was here for two hours, he did not find anything that needed to be modified or fixed! Yay! Meaning, after we complete the required 24 hours of training, we will be a licensed facility and will be one step closer to welcoming our sweet baby into our home!

The trauma parenting classes consist of 8 weeks of training on how to best care for a child who has experienced trauma. These classes have been surprisingly enlightening and convicting, the horrors that some of these children endure are too terrible to describe or recount. These classes help equip potential adoptive/foster parents to respond in love to these, neglected, abandoned, abused, and weary children. Even though our plan is to adopt an infant, I am surprisingly grateful for these classes, if anything, we have been affirmed that we are on the correct path, a path that will (hopefully) allow our sweet baby to be spared from these tortures. 

And the people you meet in these classes! They are amazing. At our table is one couple that has no children of there own and is wanting to adopt a sibling group of up to three children! Another lady in our class has been fostering for over 10 years. Last night she was telling us about one of her boys that was deemed a bad kid (at 2 years old) and was known to repeatedly throw violent tantrums and had already gone through two prior foster homes. After 2 months in her home, she realized that this poor boy was not trantruming, rather he was banging his head on the ground because he was in pain. After seeking medical attention it was discovered he had a large tumor in his head and was also diagnosed with cerebral-palsy. The boy is now 4 years old and thriving under her care. 

Because I delivered the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to help him.

Job 29:12

County Interview

So far the process to adopt through Riverside County has been slow but we are making progress! We had our preliminary interview with the county in January, they asked us a few questions about our upbringing, family dynamics, medical history etc. The interview was conducted by a psychiatrist, whom I thought did an excellent job "reading" us. We completed more paperwork (huff) and received even more paperwork to complete at home including an in-depth autobiography. In addition we were required to submit our 2014 tax return and our marriage license! I think they have every important piece of documentation we own, if not I am confident they will request it soon ;-) In addition, I am now CPR and First Aid certified! Whoot! 

Throughout this process I have been all over the place emotionally and spiritually. Believe it or not, I keep wanting to take control of the reigns! At every turn my first instinct is to try and figure out what I need to do to guarantee we get the perfect child for our family. (Do you see the fault in my thinking yet?) The funny thing about control is, no matter what delusion we are operating under, we never truly have control, we have illusion of control. In my attempt to regain control I have wrestled with every other option available to us to expand our family, and yet somehow we keep coming back to the county (the one option where I feel I have the least amount of control...). The last few months have been a necessary growing time for me, a time for me to change my thinking, to transform my heart attitude, and to realign my plan with God's plan, to have an accurate view of my own human frailty and God's divine grandeur. Instead of seeing all the obstacles we will have to face as obstacles for us to overcome, I am now starting to see them as a testament to what God will do! To realize that my attempt to rely on my hard work and ability will amount to nothing without God's hand and blessing. We feel that the Lord has lead us to a county adoption not so that we can do great things, but so that He can do great things, if only we are faithful enough to follow!

So now the journey really begins. We start parenting/training classes this week, and will attend these classes every week for two months. On the 18th CCL will come and inspect our home to see if it meets their requirements, we are still making minor adjustments but hopefully our home will be fit for a child soon ;-) 

Thank you all for your continued prayers. I am terrible about updating this, I will try and get better. I can not tell you enough how much it means to us to have all the support and encouragement we have received so far. God is working in our lives because of your faithfulness to pray!
Thank you!

For those that are interested I will keep a running timeline,
in case you or someone you know is interested in the process.

Orientation Class - September 26, 2014

Submitted Application to County & CCL - November 1, 2014

County Preliminary Interview - January 21, 2015

Parenting/Training Classes - March 12th, 2015

CCL Pre-Licensing Inspection - March 18, 2015